Surrounded By A Mess

There’s one thing which Chronic Fatigue Syndrome causes that nobody ever talks about: messy rooms.

If I’m in my room, I’m in my bed. Getting up and out takes all of my effort so when I need to go somewhere, all I can do is make a beeline to the outside door. By the time I get back home from wherever I was, I’m out of energy and will do the least amount of things required of me before getting back in bed. If I went grocery shopping I’ll put the food away, but pretty much anything else I bring home ends up on the floor in my room with the understanding that it will be put into its proper place at a late date (but this date never comes).

It generally takes most of the day for me to fully “wake up.” There are things that bump me up to the next level of consciousness: the cumulative effects of each dose of my meds, socializing which gets my mind going, and generally going through my daily tasks. Sometimes I’ll be in the mood to start cleaning but by then it’s 2am and everyone else in the house is trying to sleep so I must be quiet. When I’ve finally had enough of the mess and start cleaning during daylight hours, the required motions of repeatedly bending over and lifting quickly do a number on me. It’s a similar feeling to shoveling snow.

Human beings naturally avoid activities that cause pain anyway, but surviving decades of discomfort will condition you even further. It’s not long after I start cleaning that the feelings of soreness, fatigue, shortness of breath, and sweating kick in. I’ve managed to recondition myself to get through many other of life’s tasks, but keeping my room clean remains a constant challenge.

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